


The best boyfriend

by champagneleftie



Series: Skam fic week [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 10:05:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11803791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/champagneleftie/pseuds/champagneleftie
Summary: "Hey man, what's up. I'm Isak."The guy still looks confused, like he has no idea what's happening, so Isak decides it’s probably best to be as obvious as possible.“Vilde’s boyfriend.”This is the possible love of Even’s life, the most perfect boy he’s ever laid his eyes on, with the perfect height and perfect lips and sometimes he does this little thing with his tongue that reduces Even to a puddle of feelings -- and he has agirlfriend.A very liberal interpretation of the fake relationship trope.





	The best boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> This is my kind of last minute contribution to the first day of Skam fic week! A kind of, but not really, fake relationship fic.

Isak is distracted.

 

On the one hand, he’s playing the role of reluctant wingman to Jonas, who’s trying to chat up some girl he’s seen in his political science lectures. On the other, he’s trying to keep an eye on Vilde, who’s being chatted up as well, by a tall guy in a light pink knit sweater and slicked back hair. Vilde’s leaning against the wall, and the guy’s kind of looming over her, one hand on the wall beside her face, the other brushing a strand of hair off her shoulder. Isak doesn't really like the look of him, but it could just be the sweater.

 

It’s strange, really, how living with someone can change your perception of them. In the year and a half that he’s been sharing a flat with Vilde -- ever since Noora came home from London heartbroken; ever since kollektivet got too crowded; ever since Vilde’s grandparents realised that their granddaughter was taking care of their daughter rather than the other way around and brought her home to Stavanger; ever since they all realised that living together wouldn't be healthy for Noora _or_ Vilde so Isak was really the obvious choice -- he’s gone from seeing her as Magnus’ annoying, chirpy, over-enthusiastic girlfriend (and then Magnus’ annoying, chirpy, over-enthusiastic ex) to thinking of her almost as a surrogate little sister. Maybe it’s the similarly fucked-up parents (although Vilde has a better relationship with her mom than Isak will ever have with his) or the shared struggles with their respective sexualities. Or maybe it’s the fact that when you watch someone pick at their pyttipanna, sorting the meat from the potatoes, sitting with them for hours to make sure that they eat it all, and they then make you herbal tea that's supposed to help you sleep (and then extra strong coffee in the morning because the tea didn't work) you can't help but form a bond with that person.

 

Whatever it is, Isak keeps looking over at Vilde. He sees her push herself further back towards the wall, tuck her hair behind her ear in what he knows by now isn't a flirty move but a nervous tick, trying to avoid eye contact best she can as pink sweater guy leans further in towards her. He looks around the room, scanning it for his usual comrades in rescuing Vilde -- Noora is dancing awkwardly with a very drunk Eva, so she’s obviously otherwise engaged, and Sana is by the front door, talking to a guy with floppy hair. Isak has to look twice, because he doesn't think he’s ever seen Sana with a smile that big before -- and the guy is matching it pace for pace, and doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands - he keeps running them through his hair and rubbing his neck. Huh. Would you look at that. Good for Sana. Not Isak's type, but objectively very cute. However, that does mean that Isak will have to go into this rescue mission alone - because from the looks that Vilde is sending him now, it’s quite obvious that she wants to be rescued. Oh well. He’ll just have to remember this and call in some appropriate favors from Noora and Sana at some other time. Isak takes a swig of his beer, bids Jonas goodbye and good luck with a hand on his shoulder, and makes his way over to Vilde.

 

Here’s the thing: Isak isn’t sure he would call himself a feminist -- Noora _and_ Sana _and_ Jonas all say that he is one, because how can he be against equality? -- but in any case he has listened to enough of his friends discussions to be offended on their behalf whenever it comes up in conversation that one of the only surefire ways to get rid of a guy at a party is to claim that you have a boyfriend - because _apparently_ straight guys will respect another guy’s claim on you over your own will. Isak agrees that it’s messed up.

 

However.

 

That it's messed up doesn't change the fact that it’s also incredibly efficient. And Isak may not be straight, but he knows that he can pass for it - it’s the hoodies, probably, or maybe the snap backs. So, as he has done many times before by now, he sidles up to Vilde, puts an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close, presses a kiss to her temple. He can feel how tense she is, and how she relaxes in his grip and snakes an arm around his waist.  

 

“Hey babe,” he greets her, ignoring pink sweater guy for now. “Having fun?”

 

Out of the corner of his eye he can see pink sweater guy furrow his brow, obviously wondering what the fuck is going on. Isak can't resist smirking at him.

 

“Hey man, what’s up. I’m Isak.” His right arm is around Vilde’s neck, so when he extends his hand to shake sweater guy’s he pulls her even closer. She’s almost standing behind him now, and it’s actually making Isak feel kind of powerful, like a human shield. The guy still looks confused, like he has no idea what's happening, so Isak decides it’s probably best to be as obvious as possible.

 

“Vilde’s boyfriend.”

 

That finally gets a reaction from the guy - he takes a step back, and although he looks a bit incredulous -- who knows, maybe he knows Isak from somewhere, knows that he’s gay, this is after all a house party, they may have friends in common -- he doesn't push back. Isak still thinks it’s probably best to make a hasty exit.

 

“Want to get some air?” he asks Vilde, who smiles up at him, relieved. Isak tells the guy they’ll “see him around”, but he sincerely hopes they won’t. With his arm still around Vilde, he starts making his way towards the front door. Maybe they can bug Sana and floppy hair for a bit, that could be fun. See if they can make her blush.

 

The crowds part as they make their way through them, and there’s Sana now, still talking to her cute guy -- and oh fuck.

 

Isak freezes.

 

It’s The Boy.

 

Talking to Sana and floppy hair is The Boy, the same boy that Isak's been sneaking glances at all semester now. The Boy, who sometimes takes the same tram as him and works at the Kaffebrenneriet where he gets his coffee (or maybe he gets his coffee there because The Boy works there - it’s a bit of a chicken/egg-situation). The Boy, who, he’s figured out, is probably in some humanities program, because he’d followed him (very discreetly) to their library once. The Boy, who keeps glancing back for moments that are too long to be accidental and too short to be satisfactory and smiling and writing (or doodling? Isak is dying to know) in his green notebook. The Boy, who has swoopy hair that makes him look like a supermodel. The Boy who’s become a pretty permanent fixture in Isak’s fantasies over the past weeks, whose large hands and long fingers Isak’s imagined wrapped around various body parts, whose full, soft but adorably chapped lips he can almost feel against his own. The Boy is here, talking to Sana, and Isak has an arm around Vilde and fingers in her hair and is pretending to be not only straight but _taken._ He glances back, and pink sweater guy is still watching them, with a friend now, whispering. Fuck. Isak can't let go of Vilde now.

 

So they make their way through the crowd, and when they reach Sana Vilde still has her arm around Isak's waist. She's quite drunk, he’s realised, and she keeps leaning her head on his shoulder, snuggling her face into his clavicle. Fuck fuck fuck. Sana looks at them, clearly amused, eyebrows raised, but, true to form, doesn't say anything. Floppy hair looks at Vilde with concern -- and The Boy. The Boy is a blank slate. Usually, there's a twinkle in his eye, something pulling at the corners of his perfect, glorious lips, a challenge in his cocked eyebrow -- but now, there's nothing. His face is so neutral that it may as well be a mask.

 

Introductions are made -- floppy hair is Yousef, and he shakes both Isak’s and Vilde’s hands with great enthusiasm, like he's eager to make a good impression.

 

The Boy is Even.

 

Even.

 

After all this time, The Boy has a name.

 

But his handshake is perfunctory, like he’d rather not, and his eyes don’t quite meet Isak’s.

 

“Isak rescued me!” Vilde exclaims brightly to Sana. “He’s the best boyfriend!” _No Vilde!_ Isak screams internally. Sana looks like she can barely contain her laughter, and Yousef looks incredibly confused. Even looks away, and as Vilde leans her head on Isak’s shoulder again he excuses himself with a hand on Yousef’s shoulder and disappears into the house. Despite his height Isak loses track of him almost instantly.

 

Fuck.

 

*

 

Even's life fucking sucks dick.

 

Or, _doesn't_ suck dick, as it were.

 

For once, Even had really been looking forward to a party. He had really thought it would be the highlight of his week. He had his reasons _._ Reasons that he really hoped would be at this party, if only because he had heard him complain on the phone about the fact that it would be _so hard to get to_ and _in the middle of fucking nowhere_ and _fine, but you owe me beer._ Reasons that once almost walked into a lamppost because he had his nose buried deep in his phone. Reasons that come into Kaffebrenneriet a little too often for it to be entirely a coincidence, because there is better or cheaper coffee (not better _and_ cheaper, but students can’t be choosers) to be had closer to campus. Reasons that look away a little too quickly when they lock eyes with Even, and then look back through the thickest eyelashes Even has ever seen. Reasons with blond curls that stick out from snap backs or beanies and that Even had definitive plans of pulling on tonight, preferably while crowding the reasons up against a wall and feeling him grow hard against Even’s thigh between his legs. And then Even had very solid plans of kissing and biting and licking all over the reasons’ body, in as many places as he can comfortably reach, and probably some places that are more of a stretch.

 

And then it turns out that _reasons_ has a fucking _girlfriend._

 

And also a name. The best name, really, and it makes this even worse, because Even would just _really really_ want to moan that name into his mouth tonight, and instead it’ll probably be fucking _Vera_ or _Victoria_ or whatever who’ll get to do that while she and Isak have boring heterosexual sex (yes, Even knows her name is Vilde. He’s just indulging his pettiness for a moment. And the sex probably won’t even be boring. He can't imagine Isak having anything but hot sex. It just won’t be with _Even_ ).

 

He finds Mikael sitting on a couch with an enthusiastic blond boy and a guy with possibly the second greatest smile Even has ever seen (because Isak, obviously, has the best smile). Blond is telling a story, raised eyebrows and hand movements included, and Mikael and smiley’s knees are touching and Even can see even from a distance that Mikael has to consciously rip his eyes from the back of smiley’s head, and that smiley doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands. Even almost feels bad for interrupting, but it looks like blond isn’t going away anytime soon, and if he knows Mikael like he thinks he does there’s no way Mikael and smiley are making any progress while blond’s there, so maybe Even will even be helping. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

 

Mikael scoots closer to smiley to make room for Even, and smiley’s smile grows even wider, and he drapes his arm over the back of the couch. Introductions are made -- smiley is Mahdi, apparently - Even will probably be expected to remember that tomorrow - and blond is Magnus, they’re in their first semester, and they don’t know whose party this is, either.

 

Under normal circumstances, Even would but his head on Mikael’s shoulder right now, for optimal wallowing, but he doesn’t want to give smiley - _Mahdi -_ the wrong idea, so he settles for pouting.

 

“You didn’t find him?” Mikael asks, turning slightly to face Even, and - as if by accident - scoots even closer to Mahdi in the process. Mahdi’s hand moves from the couch to Mikael’s shoulder.

 

“I did,” Even sighs, bitterly. “It turns out he knows Sana. But he has a _girlfriend._ ”

 

“That sucks.” Mikael reaches out to pat Even on the head. “But at least now you know, right?”

 

No, not _right._ Even would very much have preferred never knowing this particular fact, when instead he could have lived out his days in happy oblivion. He pouts harder.

 

“Wait, who are we talking about?” Magnus asks. He looks vaguely like a goldfish.

 

“A guy Even has a crush on,” Mikael supplies helpfully, and Even has never heard something so insulting. A _crush_ ? How can Mikael diminish this to a simple _crush_ ? This is the possible love of Even’s life, the most perfect boy he’s ever laid his eyes on, with the perfect height and perfect lips and sometimes he does this little thing with his tongue that reduces Even to a puddle of feelings, and he seems really smart - he’s always carrying around a huge backpack and Even’s seen him read some sort of science book on the tram - and Mikael thinks it’s just a _crush_? Even is incredibly offended, and tells Mikael as much.

 

Mahdi squints, like he’s thinking very hard about something.

 

“Wait… what’s his name?”

 

Even sighs again.

 

“Isak.”

 

At that, Magnus lets out the biggest _HAH!_ that Even’s ever heard - so loud, in fact, that he sits up straighter just from the force of it.

 

“ _Isak?!_ ” This seems to be the funniest thing Magnus has heard all night. “ _Isak_ have a _girlfriend_?!” He is very close to actually gliding down from the couch from laughing so hard, and Even thinks that he may have to re-think his aversion to the acronym rofl - because apparently, some people actually do.

 

“Dude,” Magnus continues, wiping actual tears from his eyes. “Isak is the most gay out of all of us. He does _not_ have a girlfriend.”

 

Wait. Back up.

 

“You _know_ Isak?”

 

“Yeah!” Magnus nods enthusiastically (Even is beginning to suspect that Magnus does everything enthusiastically). “Since Nissen! He’s one of our best friends!”

 

“And he does not have a girlfriend?”

 

“Definitely not, man, that guy is gay as an arrow. All dick all the time.” Mahdi groans at this, taking the opportunity to bury his face in Mikael’s hair in embarrassment over his friend. Mikael looks like he’s desperately trying to contain his glee.

 

Okay great, so Isak isn’t taken. He just wants Even to think he is. Perfect. Even can’t decide whether this is better or much much worse. When he thought Isak had a girlfriend there was at least the possibility that some day in the future he’d break up with her and act on the lingering looks that Even _was really sure_ he wasn’t imagining. But now that he knows Isak is gay, it really looks like he just isn’t into Even, specifically. Great. Fuck everything.

 

Mahdi looks thoughtful again. Even thinks that if this were a sitcom he’d be the straight man to Magnus’ antics, although… obviously not straight.

 

“Who’d he say his girlfriend was?”

 

What does it matter?

 

“Some blond girl? Vilde or something?”

 

Magnus looks like he’s about to combust, and Mahdi lets out a chuckle. Even does not understand what’s so funny.

 

“Yeah he does that sometimes,” Mahdi continues, “to get rid of guys who are bothering” -- _him --_ “her.” Wait what? “They’re roommates. Totally platonic.” He’s carding his fingers through Mikael’s hair now, and Even is a little impressed -- this guy’s got _game_.

 

“Wait.” A smile is tugging at the corners of Mahdi’s mouth, and he’s got a cheeky glint in his eye. “You don’t happen to work at Kaffebrenneriet, do you?”

 

“He does,” Mikael interjects, and Mahdi’s smile turns toward him instead. Beside them, Magnus’ goldfish face has returned.

 

“ _Oh fuuuuuck,_ ” he breathes. “You’re Kaffebrenneriet guy! Isak has the biggest crush on you!”

 

Mahdi nods in confirmation.

 

“He’s been pining over you for weeks, it’s embarrassing really.”

 

_What._

 

Even could kiss Mahdi, but he suspects Mikael would not approve. And he’d much rather be kissing Isak anyway.

 

*

 

Isak is going home. What’s the point of being at the same party as The Boy ( _Even!_ ) when he can’t even find him? This was not the way their first meeting was supposed to go down. Why is the universe against them? And, for that matter, why is _Sana_ against them? How could she not tell him that she _knows_ Even? Traitor. (Okay, so it’s not like he’s actually _told_ Sana about his crush, but still. A best bud should just _know._ ) (Okay, so maybe Isak didn’t know about Yousef. But that’s because Sana is a fucking _enigma_ . Isak is _warm_ and _open_.) He bids goodbye to Sana, Yousef and Vilde (Sana can look after Vilde as punishment for her treason - and besides, Vilde is currently eye fucking a girl with a blond bob on the other side of the room, so Sana will probably be rid of her soon anyway) and goes off to find Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus to let them know that he’s leaving.

  


Maybe, Even thinks, Isak will still be talking to Yousef and Sana, and he can just grab him, push him against a wall and kiss him so that he forgets his own name. He starts making his way back towards the front door. Halfway there he has to squeeze past Vilde, who is devouring a little blond girl up against the door to the bathroom, while at the same time trying to open it. Magnus’ insistence that she’s not Isak's girlfriend is looking more credible by the minute. Unfortunately, getting past Vilde also reveals that Isak isn't with Yousef and Sana - and that Yousef and Sana are standing much closer together than they were the last time Even saw them. They both send him particularly murderous looks when he approaches, so he thinks it’s probably best to not overstay his welcome.

 

“I’m just looking for Isak!”

 

Sana nods towards the kitchen.

 

“He went to look for Jonas.” When she sees Even's panicked face she adds, mercifully, “his friend. To tell him he’s leaving.”

  


On his way towards the kitchen, where he last left Jonas, Isak is stopped by Eva, who throws her arms around his neck and stage whispers conspiratorially in his ear.

 

“ _Isak!_ Guess what! I’m going home with Noora.”

 

Next to her, Noora rolls her eyes, but Eva continues.

 

“ _I think she wants to sleep with me!_ ”

 

Isak laughs at her.

 

“That’s usually how it works when you live with your girlfriend,” he tells Eva. “She takes you home when you’re too drunk to take care of yourself.”

 

Eva tries to wink at him, but only manages to scrunch up her nose. Isak turns to Noora instead.

 

“Have you seen Jonas?”

 

She shakes her head.

 

“I saw him making out with some girl earlier, so you might not want to look too hard.”

 

She puts an arm around Eva and starts leading her towards the door.

 

“Come on baby, let’s get you home.”

  


When Even turns to leave Yousef and Sana he almost collides with a pair of girls, one very drunk and the other extremely sober.

 

“Oops, sorry,” he mumbles, and the sober girl mumbles “that's okay,” distracted by her stumbling girlfriend.

 

The drunk girl looks up and spots Sana, and smiles with her entire face.

 

“ _Sana!_ ” she exclaims. “You’re _here!_ ” She suddenly notices Yousef, as well, and clamps her hands over her mouth. “With a _boy!”_ She lowers her voice, and asks in a stage whisper: “ _Is that the boy you like? He’s cute!_ ” Even tries to remember if he’s ever seen Sana blush before.

 

The sober girl rolls her eyes affectionately.

 

“We’re going home,” she informs them.

 

Her girlfriend gives Even an appraising look. “You’re cute too,” she decides, before she’s pushed out the door. “ _Bye!_ ”

  


Jonas isn't in the kitchen when Isak enters, but Magnus is, picking through the fridge looking to see if anyone’s forgotten any beer. He looks up when Isak enters and nods a greeting.

 

“Hey man, what’s up?”

 

“I’m going to go,” Isak answers. Magnus hums and digs deeper into the fridge. Isak isn’t sure he even heard him. “Have you seen Jonas and Mahdi?” They’re generally a bit more lucent.

 

“No… I haven’t seen Jonas all night. I was hanging out with Mahdi and Mikael but I lost them after I went to the bathroom.”

 

“Who the fuck’s Mikael?”

 

“Aha!” Magnus has found a last lone Tuborg. “Sorry what?”

 

“Nevermind. If you see Jonas or Mahdi tell them I went home.”

 

“Okay, see you man.” Magnus cracks open the beer, and Isak takes that as his cue to leave. His jacket, and everyone else's, is in one of the bedrooms - he just hopes no one is hooking up in there.

  


Even finds Magnus alone in the kitchen, shaking the last few drops out of a can of Tuborg. He looks up when Even enters and nods a greeting.

 

“Hey man, what’s up?”

 

“Hey Magnus,” Even answers, and, because he’s desperate: “I’m trying to find Isak. Have you seen him?”

 

“Hm?” Magnus holds his beer upside down and peers into it. A drop falls in his eye. “Ow! Yeah, Isak was just here.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Yeah, he was leaving.”

 

“Did you tell him I was looking for him?”

 

Magnus looks a little dazed.

 

“Wha…? No…” Realization dawns on him. “Oh no! I forgot! Oh man, I’m so sorry man!” He considers something for a moment. “Do you want a hug?”

 

Even does not want a hug.

 

“I think he went to fetch his jacket.” Magnus does look like he’s thinking very hard.

 

This is Even's last chance. He can't exit the kitchen fast enough.

 

*

 

Isak was lucky enough that the coat room was empty, but unfortunately, it’s also a mess, and absolutely everyone at this party seems to have worn a black or navy jacket here tonight. He’s probably discarded half a dozen jackets similar to his own already.

 

The door opens behind him.

 

Isak looks up, expecting another person in search of their coat.

 

Even opens the door, expecting to be too late.

 

It’s not.

 

He’s not.

 

Isak stares at Even.

 

Even stares at Isak.

 

Apart from earlier tonight they’ve only ever stolen glances at each other. So now they stare.

 

“Vilde isn't my girlfriend, “ Isak says at the same time as Even says, “You don’t have a girlfriend.”

 

A second passes between them.

  
And then Isak is crowding Even up against the wall of the bedroom, his hands pulling Even’s hair, his eyelashes brushing Even’s cheek. And Even’s hands are holding Isak's face, his chapped lips are on Isak's lips, his tongue in Isak's mouth. And Isak moans Even's name.

**Author's Note:**

> So... This was kind of an experiment? I hope the narrative changes weren't too confusimg! I wanted to write a Vilde x Isak friendship, and had this idea, and I'm not at all sure that it worked. You should comment and let me know!


End file.
